That song clearly describes what I wanted to say and relate to him, the depression, how scared I am, that I'm there for him. Him "='( I don't know what to say."And the conversing began.
He told me about Christopher. I was messaging him on Fb last night. And he likes me. I know but Mathew told me. "He really likes you..." It wouldn't be that bad but they're friends...it was terrifying. I've mentioned before that one of my greatest fears is rejecting people...it sucks.
Then he asked why I liked him. "You can't ask why about love." I love the fact that I can just quote these things. Makes me feel a bit better about stuff. He didn't press it.
What else was there. It's all buiried in piles of endless txts...oh I finally said it.
"I'll wait for you. Just don't push me away and don't tell me I don't deserve you I'll decide that for myself. And I'm really scared too." I think that really cleared up some stuff...It really lightened up after that. I'm still scared that nothings going to change in the long run and it's just a temporary solution...We'll just have to wait and see.
Chris also started talking to me. And it's really bad cause he really likes me. And Mathews jealous...and it's cute. And things are starting to look up I think. Mathew sent this to Chris:
Chris also started talking to me. And it's really bad cause he really likes me. And Mathews jealous...and it's cute. And things are starting to look up I think. Mathew sent this to Chris:
"in the near past we did express to each other that we both liked each other. Nothing has been set in stone and right now i'm not to interested in being in a serious relationship. So i mean right now were just enjoying each others company as good friends. And that's all it is right now! Nothing more and right now Chris I think you should just have nothing intentional than being just her friend right now. If that's meant to be it'll happen, but only time will tell."
It makes me really happy...so maybe it will work out....
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