Let's dance in the rain together....

I left off with a semi heart break and being super annoyed and frustrated at that boy, who is perfect until you get to know him, Mathew. I finally calmed down enough on Sunday to realise that it isn't his fault, nor mine. He's going through some rough times, and I see that very clearly now. It's still really...irritating and rather awkward for me at least. And I want to say that he really meant all that and that he likes me, but I just don't know. There's so much that I want to talk to him about. Ask him if he likes me, as him what's wrong and talk about all that, figure out what's going to happen to us, if there even ever will be two people in a relationship here or just friends. 

Don Jose is sitting behind me right now. It's actually rather funny. Yesterday when I walked out of 7th hour, this hour, there was Mathew and Sia were waiting for me, then Jose walked out. I was literally a love triangle. Right there. All those people present, Sia, Jose, Mathew, me, Mari. 

I haven't been anywhere but fb recently, cause I can just talk to Nicole and Nick about Mathew and all that stuff. 

Today at lunch I stopped by the practice room where Mathew spends every spare second he has practicing. I kinda just sat there and we talked a bit. He's...inspiring. I felt suddenly that I was Shizuku from Whisper of the Heart, when she finds out about Seiji's dreams to be a professional violin maker. Except with Mathew it's music. It's absurd the amount he practises, and no wonder he's failing school. I listened and it hit me what do I want to do, this kid has it all planned out and he's following his dreams, what am I doing? Waiting for him to txt me. It's pathetic kinda...All I do is find ways to run away from the world...he's out there doing something. 

We've been talking again, and my txting's gone up to unlimited. 

I lost 2 lbs. 

I've got A's and B's which will drop to D's if I don't start doing my homework. 

The color of the sky: It turned pink as the storm approached, as the rest of the premise was plunged into a deep indigo dye the outer limits of the world were pink. I stared with wonder at the scene outside the lunch room windows. I hope it rains...and just keeps raining until...until something.