Today's been kinda depressing...I ate too much and my stomach looks preggers...It's so fat...and it makes me sad. That's probly cause I've been semi depressed lately and been eating sugar at home. See schools mostly fine, it's just pressure from my mom to apply for NHS and other crap. It's really fucking stressful. At least I've been eating better. The really weird thing is that I feel like I've been eating more, but I've been eating a lot less...that's really bad. Another depressing thing is people. I was walking around after 6th hour when all normal people go home (not us kids with 7th hour) and it was just so depressing and distasteful, it just didn't look right. The again I was listening to Depeche Mode at that time. Today was just a day of ups and downs. Everyone kept telling me that I looked pretty. My outfit was cute, but my face was tired as hell. You know, I ate a lot for dinner that's why I look fatish, it'll go away in the morning. At least theatre was fun. Nick and I talked, about life and gossipped a bit. I love that guy. Though I don't think I'll ever regret breaking up with him. That's another thing thing I need to practise more, good morals and how to best live my life to the fullest, though I think that comes along with control of food habits and motivation to succeed especially at exercises. This guy, he's a player, kinda asked me on a date, him and his twin kinda flirt with me. They make me dislike people more and more and make me wish I was skini, cause for some reason it would make things different. Gosh why can't it be easy...maybe I should just work harder, a lot harder...roger that. There's so much fat...everywhere....I'm reading The Magician King again. That part makes me happy.
The color of the sky: It drizzled, sad, quiet, english rain from a bleak, colorless expanse. It was rather lonesome.
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