Letter to myself accidentally sent to you

'Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not.'

After a downhill week and a day that started fine but slowly plummeted towards depression this movie saved me. I cry every time and I've seen it at least 5 times since it came out (the new one, god know how many times I read the book as a kid and saw the old version). It's such a great movie, and it makes me think that if I can change myself, I can maybe change the world somehow...step by step. "There is happiness for those who accept their fate. There is glory for those who resist their fate." (From Whatever) I think I've been done with happiness for a while, it just doesn't seem to really work out just right (so far) and as far as I'm concerned my fate, a cures brought upon by genetics and recent overexposure to food in Ukraine was my fate, and it's changing. Gosh why does this always sound so sappy and overdramaticly theatrical, it's my life. I should stop complaining to myself about myself on a computer (makes me sound crazy, but I'm in a good mood so what the hell). Well I gotta find myself somewhere.

The family's having a dinner party tomorrow, and why is everyone older or younger than me by at least 4 years (in most cases more). These people are my parents ages, why couldn't they have kids my age?! Some cute boy that I can talk to, or normal girl (I'd prefer the boy though). 

I'm getting awful tired so night. I'll finish my thoughts tomorrow...

The color of the sky: It snowed. Dressing up the sky to look like a car crash, white airbags, scattered in a catastrophe of grey metal and steam.