Grimalkin in the window

We sat in class wondering what we had to write, the answer was probably right before us and we didn't notice it. Standing over our shoulders was a lady guiding us step by step, like children being led across an empty streed. Baby steps with teachers and parents holding us up, it's almost pitiful, degrading... To put it simply it sucks. Cause I think we aught to be mature enough to figure out life ourselves. 

Yet how is it that we can't manage an assignment but we can manage a relationship, navigating through the halls, living our social lives. How do we get through it all?

The wind was blowing from the east, sun on my back, snow floating around. Hair carried by the snow dusted wind. Innocent and impossible, the once spring like damp ground was littered with white. It just didn't seem real.

"Let me finish the joke!" I turned back, I didn't know he was telling a joke.

"So if you dip the brushes, and you too, then we'd have a big dipper and a little dipper!" He exclaimed, the expression on his face was as cocky and egotistic as everyone always described him as. "Best joke I've ever told." That killed me, it was both funny and a bit sad. We laughed and talked a bit more, then left. He never says good-bye, or thanks... I wished Matt a happy birthday yesterday(?) in the hall, he barely looked over. He could have managed a "thank you" or at least a smile. No he just swept by, with his head high as though he were a king and I a peasant leaving me feeling wrong about something, missing a piece, something like that. 

The really sad thing is I've seen this before...Chris all over again. Pathetic in a way isn't it. I didn't learn the first time. I mean I like Matt, a bit, but it's not going to work, so I don't loose myself in daydreams for him. 

In theatre I was getting my hair done, a sample for the show. Curling and hairspray. And my friends told me I always look a bit like a princess, with the hair and posture and all. It made me happy... and Brian liked my hair. Also I got 3 parts now! Fleance, the Sergeant and some other guy who's name I don't remember. 

I ate a bunch of sugar today. It's just been little things that stress me out, and make me eat food. Weight, Ukrainian stuff, myself, lack of freedom (such a big frustration factor!), that stuff. But I'm on a new diet, and exercise routine so that should help. It's 90 days long, and I sooo love counting down, so I'll stick to it ( I really do)!

The color of the sky: Drearily lost in a daydream of everyday sky.