The snow was like powdered sugar. As skiers whizzed by the snow floated up. The trees were dusted in snow, often bending under the wight of icicles hanging from branches.
Today was again spent brooding on bus rides about the everlasting question of love. Do I still like him? Did her ever like me? Would things work out better if I was skinni? Would I be more confident and be able to do something if I was? What if things wen't differently 2 years ago? God that was a long time ago.... Then I find myself sitting on the bus with a stranger watching the scenery pass by the same scenery that I watched while talking to him. Trying to keep up with the conversation, those skills I lacked back then. Why aren't I more social? Why can't I try harder? I could. Am I just not confident enough or something? ...I don't know. I just know that I wish thing were like they use to be and that...things work out ok. So much for my promise to Ivanovich.
Rags is this kid, he's a year younger than me. I love him! He's so weird and funny. The last time we talked, about 10 minutes ago, on the phone. I pick up the phone.
Rags: Hi who's this?
me: It's Sky. Who's this?
R: Rags. So we still going to have sex later?
me: Um...maybe.
R: Cool. So would we use birth controle or condoms? I kinda want to use the condoms I mean they've just been sitting here unused! And I want to open them so bad!
me: Sure...come by later? Bye.
This kinda became our running joke. Sex. It's really funny.
Also I think my friends older brother has been flirting with me. Him and D.j and two other guys that all of us in my room are friends with are in a room together. Last night our two rooms were together for the snow sculpture building contest. We built a giant turtle. It was sooo funny! D.j was ocd about the outline of the turtle; Lesia, Maki and I were ocd about the map on the turtles back; the other two were just there helping out and throwing snow at us. Of course we retaliated and rolled around in the snow.
Tonight we went to a hockey game. Our two rooms sat together, eating popcorn and cotton candy while discussing various things while anticipating a fight. I noticed D.j's face. It's so soft, and childlike. It's pretty...and his hair, those soft curls that stick out of the rim of his beanie hat.
What else...my shins really hurt. My ski boots are apparently too big for me and it hurts like hell. At the end of the day I couldn't ski anymore because of the pain. It's like a new level of pain that I've never experienced before. I wonder if we could live life without pain...oddly it seems like such a huge and somewhat essential part of life. Or maybe I'm just crazy.
The color of the sky: A sleepy white, soft like feathers from a pillow. Clouds sweeping across the sky, hanging on to the mountain tops. Grey and airy.
What to do now.
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