I ride the same bus every day. Same driver, same number. Sometimes I change the seat I'm sitting in, but it's always the same. Same people (unless their not there for some reason), no one new ever comes. It goes the same way, same old scenery, it never changes, yet we always stare silently out the window. What are we looking at? Occasionally the choir people do talk, but I don't, neither does Jess. It's weird. Maybe I should walk to school more often. Or ride the city bus. I guess I just don't want to miss a minute that I could be around him... that seems kinda stupid. I should be out having adventures and I could if I wanted to. But I keep wishing that something will happen. And every minute counts. If I miss my chance, who knows if I'll ever get it back...
Myself spoken for, I wonder why everyone else rides that bus. Are their lives really so simple and don't require any change or adventures? Are the so close tied to their friends that they have to take that very first bus? Why does he take that bus?
Why does it seem that all the questions I ask have answers that I can't answer on my own.
Today before gym, while we were waiting for the teacher to open the gym Chris gave me a very very long hug. Not just a friendly hug...it was filled with warmth and comfort, a hug that my ex-boyfriend didn't even bother giving. Or maybe it was just my lack of human comfort and hugs.
Why does this kid like me (does he even)? Cause I don't pay attention to his pranks, cause I laugh when he gets in trouble or when he acts stupid and wants sympathy for it. Why do they and have liked me?...
Another unanswerable question.
Then he called me over to ask about his friends new bright orange shoes. Put his hand around my shoulder and walked around like that for a while.
I don't mean for this to be a love therapy session, but I have to write this down. This usually doesn't happen to me.
I finally got to go to theatre today. I feel like I've been gone for so long! Even though it's only been a few days.
I've also begun to draw short comics. They make me laugh, cause they're stupid. But not all that bad. The drawings are surprisingly better than I expected... Yay me!
The color of the sky: A solid blue. Even the horizon remained the same color as the rest of the sky. And it was empty, like an ocean without waves. The winter wind had blown away all the clouds, and even as night is falling there isn't a single cloud in the entire sky. Although the consistency of blue has turned into a sepia gold and white the sky is rather monotone. Flat page of two colors, one fading out to become the other.
No comments:
Post a Comment