All I want is a hug, for someone to tell me it's all right and for Chris to be happy. Both of them! Please SOMEONE HEAR ME AND MAKE THINGS WORK! and not just with my life ( i wish i could say that honestly, i'm really selfish, I'm sorry, no i'm not. but i want things to go back to normal fast. I don't want to be hurt, I don't want to cry.
It's 10:56 and I don't think I'll ever fall asleep tonight. Really it's not that bad, it's good to be loved but I can't help but feel hopeless and all messed up. I meant it, when i said i would have kissed Chris (from gym) and had to deal with that.
please let this work out. Please let me be happy. Give me that much. Even if I'm alone, i can be happy... just don't let people feel a lone and confused like I am. This I really mean.
I don't even know what I am saying. Maybe if I was on crack it would be ok. but i'm just tired, and confused and listening to Papa Roach, which really does help. I stopped shaking... 1 hug please that's all I ask for. Please, Chris, Jess, Dj, Nick, Emi, Chloe, phil, max, titi, sophia, anyone out there.
It's tomorrow and my little (I'm not sure what to call this...) internal train wreak has ended. And I'm close to fine again. I think it was just me at 12:00 a lack of sleep and rationale. It's actually pretty flattering that someone fell in love with me (a 15 year old girl...) at first sight. I'm still trying to figure things out but my little teenage crisis is over for now.
I did it, and I'm not dead. I bet to most of you this seems like a rather stupid thing to be worried about, but I have no idea about these things, I only occasionally read about things like this. And I don't know who I really like. This is all so confusing for me. Do I like Jess? Chris? The other Chris...?
Well yeah. SO don't fall for me. My life and I have issues.
Thanks for bothering to read this account of me really early in the morning and freaking out.
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