I wrote it on my wrists

I kept forgetting to write! I even wrote it on my wrist in sharpie as to not forget! I can't believe it.
School sucks as usual but now we have thanksgiving break!
Monday I had work out so I am so sore now! Yesterday was worse though. Climbing up all those stairs... It sucked!
I saw Jess during passing time. It was perfect. I was in the stairwell by the window. He was right there. Back turned towards me. So I started to draw. I haven't done this, like actually drawn him, since last year. My hands were shaking, I don't know why, but it was such a relief when I finished.

Michelle came up with a new person I should date. Isaac. He's in theatre with us and he use to date Steph. Well apparently she asked him if he liked me and he said yes. There you go. You turn down one person and there's another one waiting in line. It's just like the mice we have in our summer house. I just want to be there now. She told him to wait until after new years. So I suppose that's a good thing, gives me time to make up excuses. He txted me today, which he never does. Things just went from bad to really bad. Fuck I hate people. It's not their fault and I feel really bad about it. But I just can't deal with it, I mean I can, I just don't want to. Don't disturb my perfect world that I accidentally found, cause if I have to move I think it will take me a while to find a place as good.

I'm not sure if I've told you this already but in 8th grade I decided that from late november till January 1st I wouldn't date anyone. Because of Dj. We were pretty close and it seems like now we're even more so. He was my first slow dance... I guess it's just a hope and my careful preparations that I don't miss this off chance. I get to see him on Christmas after all. So maybe it is magic.

Sometimes, a lot of times actually I wonder if I'm in love with people or my drawings of them.

I think I've reiterating things a lot today. I think it's just for my own sake to try to figure things out.

Emi, Nick and I went out for Chinese food. We stopped at Rite aid and bought Nick a really late/early birthday present. A really fat gazelle, which was probably actually a giraffe. We ate, talked, took pictures, bought slushies and doughnuts. Then we sat at the round about and waved at people waiting for our full stomachs to stop aching so we could head home. The three of us make the most amazing group of weird friends. Times like that I never want to leave behind for anything else in this world.

The color of the sky: Opening up like a giant dome. Full of plump plum clouds.
The afternoon though was like coarse beach sand. Painted a thick grey blue. As if the waves had left behind their color.