Follow the beat of the drums

New Years resolutions that I made two nights ago while in the car reminiscing and almost crying:
1. loose 19 lbs by May
2. Pass my finals
3. clean room (and keep it clean)
4. Learn to face tomorrow and stop running away from things
5. confidence, speak up, be myself (find myself)
6. survive 10th grade (with A's)
7. Wait, don't fall in love with anyone else and grow to be the girl he can like or be proud of
8. finish my Ukrainian 3rd part for camp (it's hard to explain in english)
9. Keep my head up and never give up
10. live life like there's no tomorrow
11. Never stop believing or looking for wonderland (or magic and such)
Side note is my virginity but that can wait.

It's going to be a great year! I completely with every part of myself believe this. And I know that I will stick to these resolutions and achieve all my goals. It's gonna be a long road with many ups and downs, but I will keep going and this is going to happen, because for once I can achieve these things with my own will. And they will happen.

I'm contemplating whether or not to start another blog for the next 5 months, like a diet/motivational/weight loss  blog so that I can have a sort of insurance that I don't give up. Because first I'm not going to give up, if I do I will never forgive myself; second, I'm not going to let everyone else see that I failed. So I'm not making up any more excuses and I'm going to see this through.

Today I went shopping for shoes with my dad! It was for the show and neither of us had much of an idea as to what we were doing. But it was fun! Walking into all those thrift and vintage stores, my eyes just start wandering and I don't know where to look or what to look at and it's just all so beautiful! It was fun!

I forgot to post this about ski camp. It was during the last 2 days I think.
I didn't describe the pain. It's cold, like knives being thrust into my lower shins. I bet this is what the little mermaid felt while dancing with the prince. But her pain was for love, mine is just for nothing. What's the use of pain without a purpose?
D.j posted a trailer for his ski camp video. I though I was going to cry again. I miss everyone so much!

The color of the sky: A dark almost pumpkin hue along the edges. The rest shrouded in a witches dark purple black cloak.  A shining white lantern guiding her way.

I went to Emi's today! Just got back! I have't seen her in so long, or so it seems like. I was so glad to see her. We played banana grams and boggle? I think that's what it was called. And I talked to her mom and brother and dad, he normally doesn't talk much to me...Well everything seems to be going well over there. Emi makes things better and more livable while I wait to go back to my perfect fantasy world in New York.