Cigarettes, knit hats, and Breathe carolina. (Teenage cute punk out of love)

Health, 3rd hour. We went on a "health walk". 5 minutes into it we stopped outside the junior parking lot which is this dirt plot of land with weeds struggling for a breath of air, surrounded by rising dust. There's only a few cars, since it's a walk from school. A dark greenish car sits completely isolated and there's a guy. A junior most likely, thin, with good proportions and short light brown hair. Dark skinny jeans and a maroon-purple shirt. His eyes are covered by shades. He's sitting on top of the car, smoking. The morning light still has this effect of something pure and beautiful. The way he sat there, facing away from us, away from the ruckus of the world, carelessly flicking his cigarette, his wrists loose and at ease having perfected the motion. 

Our teacher called the cops. And me and Tommy (some kid from New York, Manhattan. He's cool. Druggie, reminds me of Jessish...) started yelling at him to get out it was great. He finally heard us and left. Totally made my day.

I hate people. But they are just so beautiful and perfect creatures. We have a shitty society and social system but we are just so amazing... the human figure is at least. We can move and shift into such distinct and stunning positions and we don't even notice. The perfect curve of a wrist, or that stray hair, the positions of your legs, the way you tilt your face, the way you touch someone else...

Chris was hugging this girl, and it looked so PRETTY. So I just stood there (hiding) and drew them... goddammittttttt. I hate myself for being an artist sometimes. You find the beautiful things in the saddest and ugliest situations. Masochistic, narcissistic, pain makes for the most beautiful things sometimes...

Board meeting at theatre today. We ordered chinese food, but couldn't find any forks. So Michelle and I went around school on a mission to find forks. Walked into a random open classroom (mind you this building is almost totally empty and it's dark) and started going through the teachers stuff looking for forks. We finally found some! Then it turned out there were forks in the bag the whole time.

Everyone now thinks Mathew and I should go out...But I feel like I'd mess up so bad. And I still like Chris even though he is an Asshole. Bad timing again.

The color of the sky: Open, cloudy with white spaced out fluffs like sheep in a field. Or snow settling on water. Clear baby blue water. But leaving not a ripple. 

I lost my homework...can't find it ANYWHERE!

Oh I also found a hat in the stairwell. It was there all day, so after school I took it. It's such a cute hat! It's even got a bow on it!!!! Gonna wear it monday!