What am I doing wrong (?)

Today was much better. Classes went by faster, and it was better in general...minus the fact that I think Chris switched out of my health and science classes. Which made me feel a bit more relaxed in class  but also made me really sad and annoyed.
I. saw. Jess. Oh. My. God. He cut his hair again. And looks just as attractive, cute, scary as he did before. I realised that I'm never fully going to get over this kid. First love, or something like that.

My weird english teacher dyed her hair orange. It looks like a carrot. She started talking about herself again...and she is a weird...for lack of a better word, teacher.

Classes today:
1. Still don't like the freshman. And it sounded like he was trying to compare communism to democracy the whole hour (he was suppose to be talking about civilisation vs culture, freedom vs security).
2. I like this class. I'm really learning something. 8 parts of speech in english. But I like it.
3. Chris wasn't there... We did an annoying worksheet that made me think of hospital related things. We got more people (which sucks) and assigned seats.
4. No Chris again. Moya and I had fun with the assignment though (which had nothing to do with science).
5. French. Extra credit. She talked. Nothing else. Like that class kinda.
6. Math. Frikking cold in that classroom! It was ok. Good for a math class, by my standards (which is impressive cause I hate the subject).
7. Weird. (no more comments)

I realised that I smile when people say my name directly to me.

Night swimming last night was so much fun! We snuck in to this apartment pool. And swam for 20 minutes. It's really relaxing, and there was a hot tub. Refreshing, cool, adventure, fun, gossip, all that fun stuff.

Goddammit. I really hate myself sometimes. Why am I so shy, insecure, scared, have no sense of fashion, like idiots and have love issues, and...am anti-social (or does that just fall under shy?).

The color of the sky: A light, a little bit happy, kind of blue. A few slender clouds in the distance. Quiet.

I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight.