I do not want to go to home coming anymore. But I want a dress and shoes more, so I'm going.
The reasons I don't wanna go: 1. I don't have anyone to go with! Everyone's bailing and not going. And I am not going with Nick and Hana. Not gonna be the third wheel there.
2. I don't have a date (falls under no one to go with...). And now I have an issue with that...
3. I don't want to see Chris and Kelsey (the girl I think he's going out with).
Another homecoming crisis. My date. I complained to Ivanovich and he said, "don't ask me, since I can't dance." And I didn't press it. I didn't really want to go with him anyways. I want to go with Chris but that is impossible considering the possible circumstances. Later I was talking to two theatre friends. Moya and Mathew (I think he likes me. He gave me a hug. I missed hugs. But nothing compares to Chris's hugs...dammit...makes me sad...) and I asked Mathew. Actually it was a long sad talk with me complaining about my sad situation and Mathew feeling bad and Moya telling him to ask me and such. So I asked him and he said maybe... GREAT right. Then Ivanovich comes up and tells me he might actually go. So I have 2 maybe dates. We are falling deeper into the fishbowl of high school homecoming.
I got my homecoming dress. Yay! It's a stops just short of my knees, a dusty blue as if someone had painted the floor blue and left. And now you're standing in the doorway of the room, years later. It is untouched and a thick layer of grey dust covers it. The light shining through the old wooden window creates patterns in shining color (the glitter) and as you step in the dust rises, swirling perfectly around you.
The color of the sky: A midnight blue. Smooth like the silk dress. Scattered with the glitter of starlight and city lights.
Driving home from the mall I saw two men holding hands, walking in the cloak of darkness, hidden from the world by hats and scarves, illuminated by only the passing cars and street lamps. The stars a silent witness to impossible beauty. A secret that can never be revealed or accepted, perfect for a cold endless night in a cruel world.
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