Looking back and loving me

There's a bug caught in a net, hanging in the lamplight. Your not a picture anymore, alive, breathing, actually smiling. Maybe loving me.

Maybe a little too late.

I've been sleeping a lot lately. School's been ok. I actually made a friend! I have 7th hour with her, and we've been talking a lot and she's awesome. I really like her. Her names Mari. I had a lot of tests today I have no clue if I passed or not. Oh well. That's what extra credit is for.
I keep seeing Jess. Two of his classes are right by my locker. And Sophia says he stares at her in the halls too!

It was Emi's birthday today. I got her a Pokemon Attack Pig. She liked it. It was more of a joke, but the stuffed animal is ugly, but kinda cute too. We ate cookies.

Chris said hi to me today. I don't get to see him that much cause he switched classes.

I have school tomorrow.

Yesterday was the fist soccer practice of the season and we all died. It was so hard. Coach made us run SO much. We all felt sick at the end. Game on sunday, yay.

One more thing,  I decided that I want to try my hardest with everything and do my very best with everything, theatre, school, saturday school, soccer, drawing/painting. I should set that goal for my social life too...but I'm too shy. Which really doesn't make sense. I do theatre and I have absolutely no stage fright, but I can't speak in public. It sucks. Also I act different depending on the people, situation, place, time and all those other variables. So who am I? Or rather, who do I want to be...? I don't really know.

Been watching Disney movies.

The color of the sky: Morning sky is so grey. It's not quite depressing, but it has a hard tone, the voice of a strict worker, working is their life. You can feel the weight of life. The sun's barely out from behind morning foggy grey clouds. Cold light. On a cloud scattered sky. Bleak morning, the warmth doesn't match.

I just spent an hour looking through my 2 pound folder of 2nd semester drawing from last year. I cried. I miss those days, Sophia, Jess, Kaitlin, 6th block history, 7th block modern drama, bus rides, down town...how am I going to survive this year with out it all?