Before now

I guess I never did tell you how my life came to be like...this.
I started out high school sitting in a stairwell with my middle school friends, or those that went to my 2nd high school. There were I think four of us, we added a few new members as the year went on. For a while I really was happy. High school was better than middle school, I had friends, I did theatre which was so much fun and life was good. I didn't even mind that I got a lot of work it was just high school. In november things began to change. I got sick of sitting in a stairwell, we never went anywhere except to occasionally buy food. I got tired of my old middle school style, pigtails, dark colors, comfy clothes (jeans, t-shirts, big sweatshirts, sometimes shorts and leggings) and I began to wear my hair down. No one took to it very well. It started to seem like they were stuck in the past, or in one happy moment, maybe I thought that way too, but for me it had shattered. I started to take long walks, go to the library, and spend my lunches at a cafe that I now love. I changed, I started to care about my appearance, I stopped caring about  grades, and I started to do what I wanted to do.
 I guess a big part of all this was love. I began liking Jess in November, just a little crush but that's when it all started. And my friend told me she like me and kinda asked me out. I kinda knew but it still threw me off. After that I avoided everyone, I was done with their little fantasy. I spent the rest of the winter sitting outside drawing and reading (surprisingly I did not catch hypothermia or pneumonia). It was nice, and it would have been nicer if it had snowed that winter. 1st semester ended 2nd began and I met Sophia. It all got better.

Present day.
Today was so much FUN! We're going to watch a movie in french tomorrow. In gym class we went outside, so I joined the boys in playing soccer. We had the same teams as last time. About 5 minutes into the game I had this perfect cross to Kyle, but Chris tried to head it, the ball nailed him in the face. It was so funny. I sat there laughing. I said sorry and he said it was ok. The second funny thing, I was going towards the goal when Phil blocked me, but he tripped, messing me up. I missed, "Shit" and I hear laughter. Phil was on the ground laughing like it was the funniest thing. Then I started to laugh and so did a ton of other guys. I still don't get why we were laughing... Later Chris's team decided to take off their shirts. Thank god I wasn't on his team, cause that would have been awkward. We tied. Me and Phil and Chris are getting along real well. It's nice.

I was really happy after all these little silly events. But I sat there on the bus convincing myself to ask Jess out for lunch while listening to Papa Roach, Time is Running out. Such a good song, but you have to listen to it really loud. So we got off the bus and I asked him. I said something along the lines of, "Hey, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out during lunch or something with me and my friends. If you don't have plans or something..." He said something like... "Sorry yea I kinda have plans or something." He smiled. It was cute. I'm kinda scared that he doesn't actually like me and he's only trying to be nice. That would really suck.
Then I had history (skip over lunch we just ran around a lot). He kept looking at me. It made me feel guilty...for some reason. Like I wasn't suppose to look at him, but I wanted to look at him to see him looking at me. But it was still a good day.

Theatre rehearsals for us were outside. It had cooled off and it was perfect. We found a replacement lead role for the one that left our show. We did a quick rehearsal doing just the actions no words, for blocking. It looked like a fast forwarded video. Larissa (to clarify, she is a foreign exchange student who comes up with great quotes about america and is in the play. I love her.) she told me about this guy that she likes who's also in theatre. But she's leaving to go back home in a month. And we all think he likes her! It's oh so "tragically romantic" that's a line from our play.
After that we sat around flipping through my year book. I showed her Jess.

I'm glad to report that Chris #2 the one in love with me has stopped texting me! I also have reasons to think he has a girlfriend. I saw him holding hands with this girl in the hall. I really hope it's true cause then a lot of my past issues will have ended.

I feel like I've been using "I" way too much.

Tomorrow is a half day. My mom gets back from where ever it is she went, so does my brother. Oh well. Maybe I'll wear a dress.

The color of the sky: A pearly light indigo, swirly clouds with the same screen surrounding them drifted slowly. It was a peaceful color, but a happy one. One that matched my mood and made me want to laugh even more.