Today was a great day as usual. Running around yelling absurd things, Sophia was begging me to ask him during lunch. Stealing my drawing and threatening to show him. And a Marcello a kid in my class, I guess you could call him a friend, he's nice and a great person, we told him. 6th block he smiled at me again. God I love his smile. Writing this seems almost stupid now...
Well after 6th block I was going to ask. But I lost him, then ask I was walking to the bus I saw him. I ran up to him, he didn't notice at first (he was listening to his ipod). "Excuse me!" He looked up, taking the ear buds out.
"Hey." He smiled. All for me, for no one but me.
"Um...do you have a girl friend?" I blurted out, I didn't care what I looked like, I wanted, needed to know so badly.
"Uh, no why?" He was still smiling, brighter than ever.
"Will you go out with me?!" He laughed. "I can't do that, I mean, I don't really know you and stuff..." He started to walk, I followed. Still the trace of a smile on my lips. "I mean, your really cool (cute, I didn't hear) you got swag and shit. What's your name anyways?"
"Sky (not actually but yea)"
"That's a really pretty name. And I'm Jess, you know that...yea."
"yea." He said something I didn't catch. All the time I was saying, yeah it's cool, it's fine. He left. Not saying yes or no. Just I don't know you.
I cried. For the fist time in so long. That is I've cried, after a movie or when a book was sad, but not for myself, not even when my grandma died. I called Sophia, and she though really though he'd said yes. No, sorry. I stood there with her in the stairwell and cried. Just cried and laughed, and smiled because he talked to me. And there was something so special about just that.
I went to forum with her and sat there. Lost but happy, I guess my cloud does have a silver lining. I left, and took the bus home. There were friends... of mine there so I couldn't cry it out. I probably will later. Can't now, I have a piano lesson. I walked home barefoot. Listening to 80's music and Linkin Park.
Right so now I've come to a conclusion. He never said NO. I still maybe have a chance. Tomorrow apologise say that was really awkward and maybe it might just work out. I really shouldn't have asked him out but whatever. 5 weeks shouldn't make that big of a difference.
And just saying, I'm not giving up just yet!
I think I'm going to get pudding tomorrow.
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